5:57PM on a Saturday.
I had zero plans for today, but Red Beard [my husband] had a lot on his plate. He was going board-gaming! This situation is far from unusual since I generally prefer my weekends to be more Netflix binges or video games than anything more constructive. He would be gone from 10:30AM to God-knows-when PM.
This is the awkward evening time when I get smacked in the face with just how little I have accomplished, and just how thoroughly I have lost track of time. That ONE load of laundry I started is still sitting in a wet lump in the washer… pretty much since lunch time. I did watch some hard-hitting documentary about Girls in third world countries needing educations, but that also seemed to be less than useful at the moment.
Watching documentaries about how much the world sucks gives me a substantial feeling of guilt for not living in a difficult part of the world, and then I get that overwhelming crushing feeling of helplessness. I CAN’T DO ANYTHING FOR THESE PEOPLE! I now know, intimately now, how much shit they deal with, but can do absolutely nothing to help! I don’t have enough money for us, let alone enough to send them!
Guilt, check. Helplessness and wide reaching sadness, check. What else can I accomplish today?
I decided maybe it was time to turn off the TV and spend time with my computer. Went up the stairs! Accomplishment!
I say “spend time with” because when my husband isn’t around, it’s just our two cats and I. When translated into my normal, that means I will likely not speak at all for the rest of the day. I also will likely sit at my computer in complete silence instead of putting on music. Clearly I enjoy this silence, or I think one of the dozens of albums or radio stations on my computer would be put into use.
Crap, it’s 6:14 now. I still have no idea where the time went. Personally, I would like to imagine it is hidden in a jar in my closet where I can go retrieve it on a more constructive day, but then I shift into a darker thought that somehow it was stolen because of how I used it. I sit around in sweat pants with messy hair. My butt barely left the couch today. This is a stark contrast to work days, and with no human contact for seven hours to top it off… I suppose the day was just pointless.
I will say… I wasn’t as stressed out as I usually am. That’s always a good feeling.
So I guess it was a good day.
Yeah, I’m calling this one a good day, even if it felt like it was only a couple hours long.
I’ll go back to the couch in a bit and let my Lil’ Meow sleep on my lap.
At least I can be a human heating pad for her nap.